Mother

Ok, so today I officially realized it. I always knew it, ever since my little brother was born (I was 7). Ever since I read to kindergarteners when I finished all my classwork for the day as a 5th grader. Ever since God spoke it to me one day in church- really spoke it to me. Ever since I held my big cousin/sister's fresh-born daughter in my arms that cold February day. I knew it. I knew I wanted to be a mother.
My job as a babysitter/nanny basically consists of me taking the place of the mom while she's away (hate to break it to you moms, but there's no way around it). I've always liked my job because it gives me practice for when I have children of my own.
But today, it really hit me. I love my job. I love every single motherly duty.
Waking the kids up with bright smiles on their faces. Pouring cereal into their Peter Cottontail bowls. Reminding them to say "please" and "thank you," and "yes" instead of "yeah" -- like a broken record. Picking out their clothes for the day. Helping them get dressed and brush their teeth. Putting little barrettes in their hair. Rushing out the door to get to school on time. Doing puzzles on the icy wood floor. Heating bottles in a mug of never-hot-enough-to-do-it-quickly water. Singing the song my mom sang to me to get me to fall asleep, You Are My Sunshine (works like a charm). Turning my favorite song off the radio to hear their beautiful voices belt out spontaneous lyrics. Giving M&M's and doing the potty dance when they finally go. Letting them tell me about every. star wars. character. Teaching them to love each other and be more like Jesus.
Yes, today it hit me. God has told me this is what he wants from me. He's given me the think-on-your-toes kind of wisdom and the I-can't-believe-I'm-not-pulling-my-hair-out-yet kind of patience all moms need in high-pressure situations. I've been blessed to receive these gifts, this calling, and the Grace of Christ who continues to make my heart clean each day. Why not do everything I can to serve Him and fulfill the purpose He's given me? I can do this. I will do this. I'm most certainly not ready today, but one day I will be, when God tells my husband and I that we are ready. And it will be beautiful.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." -- Hebrews 12:1