I was not hurt, aside from a few scratches and bruised ribs. (Air bags bursting on my 5'2", 110 lb. frame was not fun.)But my heart was broken in two and molded back together within minutes.
I was in a mall parking lot, beginning to turn left to check a different row for a parking spot, when out of nowhere, a silver SUV came around the curve to my left and crashed into me. One friend mentioned to me later that it was probably best that I hadn't seen her coming-- I would undoubtedly be having nightmares still if I had. With no warning, I felt something crash into my car. I got out of the car immediately because there was smoke (I was convinced my car was going to blow up). Glass everywhere, I ran to the other driver's car to see if she was okay. She said she was fine, but she just stayed in her car. I was relieved, and my heart was content. "It's just a car, it's only money, everyone's safe," I repeated to myself. The paramedics, police, and fire department all came out. But I started to worry when the girl still hadn't come out of her car. I saw her whisper something to the fireman who came to her window, and heard him reply, "How far along are you?"
That, my dear friends, is the absolute worst feeling I have ever felt in my life. I've gone through many struggles in my life: family, financial, health, and personal struggles. But this was by far the lowest moment for me. The mere thought of me potentially being the cause of harm done to someone's baby made me sick to my stomach. I buckled over in pain and began to cry. And pray. And cry some more.
The girl (who was 18 years old and 4 months pregnant) was taken to the hospital, checked out, and sent home. She was fine.
What I realized through all of this was that I was not grateful to God before it all happened. Before the accident, when I prayed, I would start out asking God for all these things I need, all these obstacles I need to be removed. And maybe, just maybe, I'd slip in a "thank you God for this day and these people and this food."
God's timing is perfect and always will be perfect. To have this happen just the day before Thanksgiving was His way of saying, "Do you get it now?" And I can honestly say yes. Yes, God. I finally get it. Nothing I have is of my own doing. Nothing I'm blessed with is from my own hands. It all comes from You. Every good thing comes from You. My health, my safety, my life.
I know that God sometimes allows bad things to happen to us to teach us lessons. He wants us to grow closer to Him, and if it takes a car accident to do it, so be it. I ask God to do whatever it takes to test me. Bring me hardship, bring me happiness. Whatever it takes.
You may be wondering how everything turned out. My car was completely totaled. Her SUV was not. Maybe a couple thousand dollars worth of repairs to her front bumper. No one was found at fault because (a) it happened in a mall parking lot and (b) no authorities actually saw it happen. They couldn't prove that she was speeding, even though my car spun on impact.
I want to thank my good friends Amanda Brigden, Kat Peacock, Kat Adams, and Rich Jacobson who have gone out of their way the past week to get me to and from church and school. And an even bigger thanks to Reuben Daniel, by far one of the most generous people I know, who is letting me borrow his car for three weeks while he's in India getting married. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for my amazing friends!
I didn't get pictures of the accident, but here's some eye candy for you:
Isn't it amazing that the other car came from the driver's side, yet the most damage was done on the passenger side? God put a little bubble around me that day and kept me safe.
The police officer picked up my perfectly intact headlight (from the right side I believe). He said, "This might save you some money..."
"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire." --Hebrews 12:28
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